Unless a love affair is very conscious, it is going to create great anguish, a great trouble.
All lovers are in trouble.
The trouble is not personal; it is in the very nature of things. They would not have been attracted to each other... they call it falling in love. They cannot give any reason why they have such a tremendous pull towards each other. They are not even conscious of the underlying causes; hence a strange thing happens: the happiest lovers are those who never meet.
Once they meet, the same opposition that created the attraction becomes a conflict. On each small point, their attitudes are different, their approaches are different. Although they speak the same language, they cannot understand each other.
If both partners are conscious of the fact that it is a meeting of opposites, that there is no need to make a conflict, then it is a great oppurtunity to understand the totally opposite point of view and absorb it. Then the life of a man and a woman together can become a beautiful harmony. Otherwise, it is continuous fight.
There are holidays. Once cannot continue to fight twenty--four hours a day; one needs a little rest too--a rest to get ready for a new fight.
But it is one of the strangest phenomenon that for thousands of years men and women have been living together, yet they are strangers. They go on giving birth to children, but still they remain strangers. The feminine approach and the masculine approach are so opposed to each other that unlessa conscious effort is made, unless it becomes your meditation, there is no hope of having a peaceful life.
It is one of my deep concerns: how to make love and meditation so involved in each other that each love affair automatically becomes a partnership in meditation--and each meditation makes you so conscious that you need not fall in love, you can rise in love. You can find a friend consciously, deliberately.
-Osho
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